Doctor's Office Observations

• When I ask upon arrival if you need a urine sample and you say you don't and that I can feel free to use the restroom, it really is mean of you to change your mind ten minutes later. Especially when your response to my confusion is "You're pregnant, you've got it in you."
• There was a woman exiting the waiting room. I noticed she had the word "Girl" tattooed on her wrist. Was she concerned that she might forget? Wouldn't it be easier to look at your permanently affixed sex organ?
• Asking me if I signed in as I'm leaving the office really makes no sense. How would you have known I was there if I didn't sign in?
• You should probably have your electrical equipment charged prior to my arrival. It's slightly bizarre to have to wait because the light in the device that looks inside my ear isn't charged.
• My doctor's office has food EVERYWHERE. He has granola bars and fruit that I like, but I always feel too guilty to take them. Is that weird? He also has candy in every room of his office. Apparently, he understands that dangers of a hungry pregnant lady, but has underestimated my need for his permission to take it. They need to have a sign that says "Take ONE."