Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Let's Talk about Dating: Side Note - Appropriate Date Behavior

Dating is a difficult time for many folks, myself included. The nervousness associated with dating may cause you to make decisions which, when you look back, will be cringe worthy. Today, I'll share some of the things that make me slightly crazy.

1. Flattery - One can assume that if we are going on a date that you probably think I am attractive. You have probably mentioned it during the courting/wooing/snagging process. It is not necessary for you to tell me how beautiful I am every 5 seconds. I like to hear it every once in a while, but that should not be the meat of our conversation. In addition to being incredibly beautiful (/Facepalm), I am intelligent, thoughtful, and funny. You should try to explore those other qualities.

2. Being fake - I am a real person. When I go on a date, I try to be as authentic as possible. This doesn't mean I have to spill my guts and present you with a storyboard of how I think our relationship should go. It does mean that when you are asked a question you should answer it honestly. It might not be the best time to go full strength with truth, but try to give some insight. Don't be who I want you to be. Try being you.

3. Being weird - No matter how hot my friends are, we are not both going home with you. It is not going to happen. This is not the time to disclose your darkest fantasy. This not the time to admit that you slept in your parents bed until you were twelve. This is not the time to admit that you aspire to become the next Papa Dugger. This is not the time to ask if you can rub or lick my feet.

4. Flirting with other people - I shouldn't have to mention this, but apparently I do. When you go on a date with a person you are giving them your time. If you can't hold the mack back for an hour, maybe you should reconsider your game plan and head back to the club.

 Now that we have discussed what drives me crazy, let's talk about what I like.

1. Sincerity - I love this. I recall meeting someone on a first date who brought me flowers. As I approached I thought it was so corny, but the look on his face when he gave them to me was honestly precious. He was really excited about our date and was so happy to have something to give me. Honestly, I don't even recall what kind of flowers they were, but I will never forget his face as he handed them to me. Sincerity cannot be faked or imitated.

2. Honesty - I may not like the truth, but I'll respect it. When you tell me the truth it says that you respect me.

3. Table manners - You don't have to be fit for the Queen but, for the love of everything holy, chew with your mouth closed.

4. Your attention - Nothing says I want to get to know you better than a person who is focused and involved in the conversation.

At the end of the date the only thing that matters is that you gave a clear representation of yourself and that you attempted to have a good time. I find that the latter is usually my biggest challenge.


  1. "You don't have to be fit for the Queen but, for the love of everything holy, chew with your mouth closed."

    Oh my lord, yes. That and please don't use your fingers to scoop your food onto your fork or slurp your soup! I'm guilty of the occasional heathen elbow on the table, but what passes as table manners these days is appalling. UGH.

    So right on the money here, Courtney. Maybe when you get these done you could compile them into a book. :D

  2. @Krystalle I find myself obsessing over my manners at dinner, but unless the man commits one of four taboos, I probably won't notice.

    The table taboos are:
    1. Holding the fork in a death grip or like a club.
    2. Chewing with the mouth open or talking with your mouth full.
    3. Not wiping your mouth often enough. If you are a clean eater, it doesn't matter, but there cannot be food everywhere.
    4.Loudly belching, snorting, or nose blowing. (Belching is okay at home. I'll admit my brother and I are champs.)

  3. Having read this I can say that I almost couldnt agree more.
    For the record, even as clumsy and sometimes goofy you are, you do very well in the akward first date.
    Anonymous 2

  4. Let's see, mouth closed when eating, decent hands, honesty -- better stay out of Dade County.