Update: What the heck's been going on?!

Recently, work has been incredibly busy. My boss moved away from the office and all of my work time is actually 100% necessary for completing the work that I do. In the past, I had some time to jot things down. I feel like a neglectful pen pal.

As you all know, I got married a few months ago. I then moved into my husband's house. That has been an adjustment. I think that I underestimated the sheer volume of things that I would lose and things that would have to change. I still feel kind of overwhelmed by it, but it's getting better. My cats seem to have adjusted pretty well. Instead of sleeping with me, they sleep by the door. I've only about killed myself tripping on them a million times. You'd think I would remember them being there by now, but it's not really the first thing on my mind when I walk out of the door in the morning.

Now, we're having a baby. I mean, not this exact moment, but at the end of the year. This is a definite change. Max and Annie are completely thrilled. James and I are very happy about it, but I am nervous. I am not really concerned with my parenting skills or about labor and delivery. It just seems that the moment I have a baby that everything goes completely wrong. I am less worried about it this time, because I am a lot older. I know what to do in case of things hitting the fan. I know what I am capable of. I worry less about what to do if that happens and more about how to keep it from happening.

Let's Talk about Dating.

It is no secret that I recently became single. It is also no secret that I am not fond of dating. I am a very happy person and I am fine with a boyfriend or without. Having a boyfriend has obvious perks, but I can be alone without too much trouble.

Dating has showed up like that long lost frenemy that you thought you were free of once and for all. Now, she wants to be friends again and I'm not completely sure I am ready.

Dating seems to work like this in most cases (for me):

• Select person (or be selected by a person.)
• Attempt to have intelligent conversation.
• If successful during the intelligent conversation stage progress to the "Planning an actual date" stage.
• Completely freak out about what to wear on the date. (AKA the "Suddenly, dressing like a 12 year old boy doesn't sound like such a good idea" stage.)
• Enlist the help of real girls to make sure I look alright.
• Arrive at date.
• Revisit the "Attempt to have intelligent conversation" stage.
• If successful and the intelligent conversation is enjoyable proceed with further dates.

This basically continuues on until you decided to commit to each other or you decide the other person is not for you (or in the words of my girlfriends "a total loser." I'll be honest, I have dated a lot of what my friends consider total losers. Some folks would say that I look for them. I'd like to think that my last boyfriend broke that cycle since he was gainfully employed, living on his own, and the proud parent of one really smart dog.)

The next blog will be an exploration of step one - person selection. Sit back and relax. You're cheaper than a therapist.

It's my birthday!

Dear Readers,

I am now 29 years old. It's strange to be so close to thirty. Age really is just a number to me, but I feel like I have been here a long time. I am genuinely happy to wake up every morning, even though I do it alone. My cats don't count, of course.

I've been trying to think of something funny to post. I just haven't felt at my peak of hilarity lately. I feel like I am trapped in a ledger. I'm climbing around and making corrections, but the math isn't right yet. I hope that makes sense. (I don't mean financially. I just mean that sometimes I view life as an equation that I need to balance or solve.)

As you should by now know, I do not make resolutions every year. I have one perpetual resolution that I wake up and make every day. Move forward.

It doesn't mean the same thing every day. It doesn't mean something solid. It just means to push through, find adventure, and embrace the unexpected pleasures of every day. That's it. That is my goal. I am not planning to take over the world or any part of it. I'm just going to keep exploring. I hope you all plan to come along for the ride.

Yours,
Courtney

P.S. LOOK at the cake my boss bought.