The Oh So Glamorous Life. Part II

This morning I crawled into bed at 4:52am. This is exactly 24 hours after the last time I got out of bed.

Yesterday, Meg came to my office. In case you didn't notice, Meg is my best friend. I asked her to bring me something chocolate from the drive through and she said she forgot. I was totally cool with it and I told her that it was no big deal. Then, she pulled a parcel from her purse. It was a bag from the Cheesecake Factory. I couldn't believe it. I was so happy that I threw myself on the floor and moaned in ecstasy. She bought me a giant piece of Godiva cheesecake. (Why yes, we do have an incredibly professional work environment. Why do you ask?)

It was while I was rudely scarfing down the cheesecake that she asked me to go with her to the Blue Martini. I didn't have a choice. I mean, she brought me cheesecake. It was decided that we would go and she would pick me up at 9:30pm.


I planned to wear a short black dress, but I left my only pair of shoes that go with the dress at my boyfriends house, so I went with jeans, a cute top, and a pair of one inch heels. I wore make up and before lipstick this is how I looked:






The Blue Martini and I have a history. That history is basically me going a few times and loathing it every time. I have been on Friday and Saturday a few times and that is sheer misery. It is packed to the gills and impossible to move. There is nowhere to sit or stand without being touched or jostled. The dance floor is small and surrounded by tables, but people are dancing everywhere. Generally, the crowd is so thick that it is impossible to walk through.



Tuesday night at the Blue Martini is Latin Night. We started the evening on the patio. They were out of the wine I wanted, so Meg chose a Chardonnay. We drank the first glass waiting for our friend, Anna. When she arrived we purchased glass two. We drank the second glass and suddenly Anna decided we were going to dance. I agreed with her. It was time to stop sitting. Meg was not happy, but we started dancing near our table and Meg got into it. Suddenly, Anna walked away. She came back bearing Latin men. I'll admit it. I was terrified.



Now, I am not afraid of men or Latinos. I am afraid of dancing. I am a horrible dancer. Anna tried to show me, but she decided that I needed a man to lead. She brought back a man who was thrilled to pieces to dance with me. He didn't seem to notice the look of sheer terror or maybe he mistook it for a drunken smile. Who knows? We were on the dance floor and I was trying. Anna was dancing with a total hottie nearby and she kept leaning over with helpful hints like "Relax" and "Let him lead." I thought I was letting him lead.


Apparently, I was the furthest thing from relaxed. It's hard to relax. This type of dancing requires being in very close proximity to a person that I don't know. This guy bought Anna and I another glass of wine. I didn't want it, but he seemed to really want to buy it and Anna was thirsty. We all talked for a while and then he got all Gropy Groperton on me. I was forced to give Anna and Meg "The Signal."



"The Signal" is for when a dude is being a bit too familiar or creepy. When you are in a club, you keep an eye on your friends. If your girl tosses out "The Signal" you go rescue her. No matter what. You stop making out, dancing, brooding, or any other thing you are doing and you go take care of her. PERIOD. Meg saw it and in true BFF form she marched over, pushed him away, and dragged me off while I grinned apologetically.



Anna was not happy. She said "Oh no he didn't!" and stomped off into the crowd. I yelled "Don't hurt him!" She came back with A WHOLE GROUP OF CUBANS! Not kidding. She apparently tossed her dude cast net out and roped us some dudes who did not speak English. Greeeat. The guy who was tossed my way was approximately a foot shorter than me. He was wearing shoes that appeared to be made of crocodile or alligator. Anna demanded that we all dance, so we did. It was fun and the men kept their hands where they belonged. This made me happy.


I should mention that I look like a complete idiot when I am dancing. I do it with my eyes closed. I know it looks stupid or like I am really drunk, but there are so many commands being tossed out at once.


RELAX! DON'T LOOK AT YOUR FEET! LOOK AT MY FEET! FEEL THE MUSIC!



It's enough to give this girl a complete panic attack. I was close to it and covered with sweat when Anna and Meg said we should go sit on the patio. We and our new found Cuban friends all headed to the patio where the men attempted to talk to us. They also requested that we speak to them in Spanish. We explained that our Spanish was worse than their English, so we kind of sat there looking at each other.



Anna was suddenly unwell. Not just queasy, she was about to be unconscious. I had two and a half glasses of wine over a 5 hour period, so I was totally fine, but she apparently had a lot more than me. The men scurried around while Meg and I barked orders at them. We had them go get us water and napkins. They obeyed without question. Meg went to get the car and told me to bring Anna out to the Valet. Anna demanded that I take off her shoes, but I am an idiot. I tried but I couldn't get the things off. The men saw the problem and stopped the ridiculous wrestling match between me and her feet. Two men each took a foot and undid the ankle strap (that I hadn't seen. /Facepalm)



We walked Anna to Meg's car where she fell face first into the car. I thought she was going to try to sit up, but she simply lifted her feet up and I shut the door. The men said goodnight and headed off. We also headed into the night.


Anna sat up, rolled down the window, and hung out of the car. There was a police officer in front of us for a long time and Meg pleaded for dear life to get Anna back in the car, even giving her permission to vomit in the car. Anna wasn't having it. We continued driving that way for a while and then Meg had to make a right turn. The road was closer than Meg had anticipated and she had to turn abruptly. Anna literally flew across the car and into the door, face first. Meg and I were horrified. We had asked her to put on her seat belt, but she was afraid to puke in the car.


Anna screamed "I BROKE MY NOSE!" Meg and I couldn't speak for a moment because we were laughing so hard. After about 10 seconds, Meg regained composure and asked if she was bleeding. Anna screamed that she was, but we looked back and she was just a bit drooly from her mid ride flight. We tried so hard to stop laughing and if she had been hurt we would have stopped at once, but it was awful. We could not stop.



We found Anna's apartment and helped her out of the car. The left side of Meg's vehicle was now covered in oatmeal looking vomit. We were in giggles again. I got what was coming to me though. In helping Anna into the apartment, I was covered in her vomit. After everything else, it really didn't seem like that big of a deal and, of course, we laughed about it.

We stopped at IHOP and had breakfast. We rehashed the entire evening and laughed until we nearly cried.



As I crawled into my bed, shortly before I had to get up, I found myself giggling about the weirdness of the whole night.

Chili Time

I have an employee named Sadia and she makes the best damned chili. It is so good. She said that they used a random internet recipe, but then her very soon to be husband misread the directions for the spices and this is what came together. I highly recommend it.

Sadia and Jeff’s Fuxed Chili

3 lbs lean ground beef
1 large chopped onion
1 chopped green bell pepper
2 chopped celery ribs
2 (16oz) cans kidney beans drained
1 (29 oz) can tomato puree
1 (16 oz) jar salsa
1 (14 ½ oz) can diced tomatoes
2 cups of corn (frozen or canned.)
1 can beef broth
1 ½ cups of water
¼ cup chili powder
2 TBSP Worcestershire sauce
1 TBSP dried basil
2 TBSP ground cumin
1 TBSP garlic powder
1 TBSP salt
1 TBSP ground pepper

In a large pot (6 qt), cook the beef, onions, bell pepper and celery over medium heat until meat is browned and vegetables are tender. Drain. Stir in the remainder of ingredients and bring to a boil, reduce heat, simmer uncovered for 30 minutes or until chili is desired thickness.

The Oh So Glamorous Life.

This morning, I woke up at 4:52am. I have no idea why, but once I was awake there was no going back to sleep. I paced around for a bit, had breakfast, showered, and emptied the cat box. I decided that I might as well head out around 6:15 because I had to make a stop anyway.

I stopped at the Wal-Mart next to my house. They are the only place open at 6:15 and conveniently located on one of my available paths to work. It was not a pleasure visit, as much as a search and obtain mission.

I was marching through the store when then ridiculously attractive, probably felon, employee of Wal-Mart looked at me. Not in the way that you look at the crazy folks in Wal-Mart. He looked at me in the way that a man looks at a woman. I scurried away as fast as possible.

I should probably note that my style, for the most part, is probably the same as a 12 year old boy. I am wearing beige corduroy pants, sneakers, and a black t-shirt. My hair was up in a tiny pony tail and still wet from my shower. I don't really wear make up that often, and today was definitely not one of those days.

I collected my purchases and was making my way to the register when Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome, and probably a criminal again stood in my path. I froze like prey and then he looked down. Oh God. I realized suddenly that I stood there holding the ultimate and perfect man repellent. I held in my two, suddenly sweaty, hands the following items:

• One Giant Box of Tampons.
• One Giant Box of Maxi Pads
• One pack of prepared chocolate pudding cups.

I scurried away and hurried through the checkout, passing him again at the cashier's desk. I marched off into the darkness and went to work.

I think we need to have a talk, folks.

Recently, my friend John Hummel was in an article in the St. Pete Times. You can see the article here. The article talks about how John was a Mormon and through life's journey found himself to be an Atheist. It talks about his curiosity about other religions and frustrations about the misconceptions of his own religion (and now lack of religion.) The article goes into how John's curiosity leads him to start a blog and a podcast about seeing 52 religions in 52 weeks.

I am not here to talk to you about the article, as much as I am here to talk to you about people's response to it.

TomH from Arizona commented:

Hummel's problem is simple. He has no faith because he doesn't nourish faith. He could not endure the taunting of the "large and spacious building" and gave into unbelief. Faith is like a seed, it must be planted and nourished. Otherwise, it dies

My problem with Tom's comment is that he expects blind faith in a god. This is the crux of nearly all religions involving a god. You must simply believe, without any proof at all, that they are there. You must believe that things happen because the god wants them too. It's almost as if there would be nothing good in the world if a god hadn't created it. I think John believes in the goodness of man. Tom believes that John was taunted by the "large and spacious building". I'm not sure why he feels that way since the article never says that. It specifically says that John left the church because he disagreed with their involvement in the political arena. Prior to that he had continued to be an active, but Atheist, member.

I'll admit that I know John Hummel. I met him at the first Tweet Up that I ever attended. I liked him from the start. He is funny and well read. He is snarky at times, but never unkind. He listens with genuine interest to views that are not his own and honestly considers them.

I have met his lovely wife, Holli. I have met his beautiful children. I have never seen a man more in love with or devoted to his wife than John Hummel.

Some people assume that an Atheist is stupid or that they have no morals, but that is not true. I have been friends with many people who consider themselves to be an Atheist and the vast majority of them are thoughtful people. They want the best for humanity because it the best for them too. They volunteer. They fight for their country. They feel sadness when their friends and relatives die.

Paul D. Valentine, the leader of the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation, has a channel on YouTube. I find him to be incredibly interesting. I am subscribed to his videos because I enjoy listening to him talk. He is an Atheist. Contrary to popular belief, he does not actually worship Satan. (He doesn't really mind if you are silly enough to think so though.) I was listening to a video one day and he was talking about the sadness of loss for an Atheist. He said that it was significantly more sad to know that you would never see the people you love again. I agree.

Doesn't it take a significant amount of, well, faith to believe that there is no god? You have to look at everything around you and believe that it occurred because of some cosmic fluke. Beyond that, you have to believe that you are not a special edition hand crafted by a god being. You are just another blip in the cosmos, no more significant than a grain of sand.

Another response to the article was directed towards me, as I had left a comment.

I said:
To TomH - You are wrong about Hummel's problem. John had been an Atheist for a while, but until the church made stands in areas in which they should not be involved, he remained in the church because he felt they did good in the community.

ea from Washington responded:

"Areas in which they should not be involved"? Who are you, Courtney or anyone else, to say what rights ANY group can or cannot fight for? I would not think to deny any opposing group the right to organize and petition."

I doubt "ea from Washington" will ever read this or my comment that I wrote back, but when I wrote that I was writing about a little thing that people have been trying to shred or protect for years called separation of church and state. The churches do not pay taxes. It's not a good idea for them to be getting involved in politics. It's also not a good idea for governments to be getting involved with (or banning) religion. When churches want to start paying taxes like any other business then I think that they can participate in the political arena. I just don't think that they should at all.

If you are interested in learning more about John Hummel please visit www.blogthereligions.com or another blog he runs that I like called Between the Bits. Including this post about the insanity at the Town Hall meeting about the Healthcare reform bill.

Lychee Jelly Cups

I had my very first Lychee Jelly cup yesterday. It was very good. It reminded me of a Jello shot, with the exception of the fact that you can get it out of the cup with relative ease. You simply squeeze the size of the cup and it pops up.



I was told that it was very sweet and that I probably wouldn't like it, but I prepared myself, squeezed the cup, and took a bite. It was very good. It is a very sweet think gel substance with small chunks of coconut in it. The coconut is soft from being immersed in the gel and is surprisingly complimentary.

To find out more about the Lychee Fruit you can go here, here, or here.

To buy Lychee Jelly cups you can try here.

I'm back!

I was sick last week. I went home early for two days and then didn't come in at all on Friday. I was in and out of a fever. I slept more than I have in a long while. My cats watched over me in confusion as I drooled and sweated all over myself. On Friday, I was finally determined to go to the doctor. I got the info I needed and then I had to wait until I was the best I could be to drive. I was so dizzy and tired that I needed to be sure that I could not only get to the doctor, but make it back home.

I was diagnosed, by the perkiest human ever, as having a severe sinus infection. I was given a horsepill of antibiotics for the next ten days and told to take Mucinex with it. I was relieved.

I had to cancel seeing my children because I was too sick. I felt really guilty and sad, but promised to see them Sunday if I was better. I knew I made the right decision when I slept the majority of Saturday too. I never could have kept up with them for the whole time.

Sunday dawned and I was nearly me. I felt better than I had in a long while. I made arrangements to take the kids and Bob to lunch. I read the paper, relaxed, and then went for lunch with the kids. We went to Cafe Alfresco which was delicious. Our waiter was kind and patient with the children. The children ate everything on their plates. I had a very delicious mushroom omelette, which left me full and satisfied for nearly the rest of the day. We went to Strachan's for ice cream afterwards and I had the chocolate chunk. It was hellagood.

Sunday evening, Bob and I visited our favorite resatraunt, Vallarta's. It was the same as it always is and we had a good time talking about Ponkeys and chaps. I was accused of being less funny than usual, but after explaining that I NEARLY DIED or something this week, I was cut some slack. MEN! Actually, I had a wonderful time. It might have been the first time that I felt back to normal. Bob caught me humming several times during dinner. I generally save that for when I am happily baking, but I felt great and day dreamy.

Today, it's back to life, back to reality.

My visit to The East Lake Cafe

Sunday, after learning that my newest favorite restaurant was no longer in business, I had to find a new restaurant for breakfast. My stomach was rumbling, my daughter was starving, and my boyfriend had a suggestion. He suggested the East Lake Cafe. It was close to where we were, so we stopped in.

We walked in the door and were seated promptly. The restaurant was clean and comfortable. Not long after we were seated we ordered our drinks. We ordered coffee and my daughter ordered Apple juice. I did not try the juice my self, but I was assured it was good. Our coffee arrived, and though we loved the large colorful mugs, the coffee was very watery.

I ordered the The Cafes Southern Special which includes eggs, 1 biscuit & gravy, grits, and sausage patties. I ate the sausage patties first and they were good. They were juicy and what you would expect in a sausage patty. I then ate the biscuits and gravy.

I should probably note that I have been making biscuits and gravy for a long time. I make it about 3 times a month and it's one of my favorite breakfast dishes. I think it's usually incredibly flavorful. When I received the biscuits and gravy from the kitchen it was lukewarm and completely devoid of any meat flavor. It was actually slightly sweet. I found that really confusing. The "meat" itself could actually be mistaken for sawdust because the pieces are so incredibly tiny. The biscuit was a very dense flavorless lump. I ate half of it and gave up. It was very disapointing.

A note about the grits. I never order grits in restaurants. I'm a real Southern girl and the majority of the grits I have eaten were made by my Grandma, who could outcook Emeril in my book any day of the week. Her grits are cooked through and are soft and creamy in your mouth. No matter where I have ordered them outside of her house they are hard, gritty, and raw. This restaurant was the exact same, but I beg you to not hold that against them since nearly every restaurant in the area makes them the exact same way (unfortunately.)

My daughter got a waffle which she actually devoured. I am going to assume she liked it because getting her to eat anything is generally a giant pain and a long process and she finished before I did.

The plates were garnished with a large leaf of something that I am assuming is parsely and an orange slice. We gave my daughter the oranges and after one bite she refused to eat them. Since oranges are one of her favorite foods I became curious and took a bite. It was very sour. I am of the opinion that nothing should ever go on a plate that is not expressly meant to be eaten. The food should speak for itself.

Bob got the Traditional - Canadian bacon - Eggs Benedict. He said that it was very bland and had very little flavor.

We found ourselves saying at the same time that we were off the opinion that very little, if anything other than the eggs, were cooked here. The kitchen is silent. There is no rushing of hot food. There are no clanging pans in the kitchen. It really was confusing as they have a sign in front that claims that they are they best in Palm Harbor.

Their website makes the claim that "All of our selections are made to order with the finest ingredients & the greatest of care, and trans fat free! Your patience is appreciated!" However, there was about 4 minutes between the time we ordered and the time that we recieved our food. I would argue that the previous statement is blatantly untrue.

The one bright spot in this trip was the service. Every staff member keeps a watchful eye on your table and they are quick with coffee refills and anything else you might need. I feel terrible about what I have written because I felt that the staff worked hard and were genuinely kind, but the food was not acceptable.


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